Not so long ago, I was a free bird, one with lots of curiosity and energy. I used to sit for hours, watching videos on theories, concepts, impressive ideas, and heard each and every TED talk, irrespective of whether they even made me think or not.
I used to play around with small tasks and learn some new technologies or concepts while doing it. During that time, I conceived the idea of constant pursuit of knowledge or at least juicy information. My image of myself was that of a persistent learner, one who is not hell-bent on success, money and fame, but waited for the same to come to me, while I just pursued my own fantasies. Yes, I realized as soon as the end of college life seemed near, and my options became clearer, that those were just fantasies I had created in my mind to keep it occupied and sometimes, sane.
That realization brought a bit of pain and embarrassment at my own immature beliefs, and I remember struggling to come to terms with it. But it was nothing to lose my sleep over, as I had at least a couple of options to partially exist in my fantasy world, even after college life. I always believed that if I have certain facilities, items and maintain certain other behaviours, I could continually be in contact with my fantasy world, wherever I go.
The funny thing about revelations is that, they are difficult to trace back to any particular incident or instance of time in your life. They just occur when a lot of things happen or go through your mind, usually without your explicit triggering. Such is the current revelation, which I am writing down, which I realized recently, is something very natural to me.
I originally started writing this post to mention how nowadays I have to choose what I do, what I see, what I listen to and what I eat based on lots of new constraints, like time. I cannot afford to waste the precious few hours of time I get to pursue all my hobbies, like blogging, writing, technical news, chatting etc. I must thank the officials in Mysore for that though, for their diligent adherence to the cause of cutting emissions and reducing our electricity bills in a very easy manner; by cutting the supply altogether! (No power as I type this!!)
But whatever be the constraints, I am still the same old person with the same tastes and distastes. The only difference would be the addition of new shades to everything, caused by my exposure to life and its experiences. I now deeply love certain musical instruments, listen to new genre of music, use and work on a new technology, live in a different environment and eat a different kind of food. Most importantly, I have a new kind of respect and attitude for people. So, my concern was to find a way to get the best of everything or at least most of things, in the limited time. I do sometimes feel I am expecting too much... and at those times, I revert to my suspended state, of minimal emotional and intellectual connectivity with exterior world. The struggle to fit in 3’X’ tasks into a time slot that supports only ‘X’, is on.
Wrote too much already, and I wonder if I made a so-called point so far. Would like to hear from my readers (ideally, no Buzzing please…I hate it)