creative ventures

I see a lot of creative ventures from people in this lockdown.

And since I am not even a regular person on the social media, I know I might be talking about what everyone knows.

But my blog, my thoughts.

Notable are a few like a school friend of mine who is about to publish his own debut book of poems.

There is another friend who has started a VLOG since she's been stuck in Kerala for long.

My wife has developed an interest in gardening and is seriously doing lots of experiments with a variety of plants.

Many folks discovered their talents in singing, dancing, photography etc. which they hadn't really explored prior to the pandemic induced lockdown. I am seeing all these through the very small window of social media called Whatsapp Status.

Even my son has developed his speech and other mischievous skills alongside.

So creativity and development is in full bloom all around.

And yeah, its the same for me too: strategic and creative tasks at work, tonnes of books read, things pondered, written, taught..

Working deep in the mines

Nowadays the majority of my working hours are in discussions, either passively listening or taking notes or explaining or negotiating things.

With the remote working nature, even the simplest discussions and interactions need to go through elaborate chaos of noise, dropped calls, and overlapping voices. Oh I almost forgot the great villians: Echo and Delay.

Also, it seems like everyone is almost always in discussions/meetings, so its hard to have quick drawing-on-the-board discussions or idea generations over a cup of tea.

I find the impacts to be mainly on topics which require convincing people, sending subtle reassuring messages using body language, and generally to capture everyone's attention. The people you want to convince are either busy doing something else when you are carefully articulated sentences are pronounced, or they have connection problems or worse they misunderstood your voice modulations.

Also working from home, with a small kid and spouse also employed, meetings sometimes become a nuisance as it disrupts the family ceremonies like lunch,dinner and conversations. This is also partly due to the lack of any fixed start or end timelines for a working day. At least when we used to commute to office, one could just be away from the seat ( be it sipping tea, or at restroom, taking a call, puff or even gone home for the day ), and others would let you be unless its urgent. Now, all this happens through meetings, especially with colleagues of different geographic regions competing to fit the schedules into those of others.

My son who has just started speaking already has words like Appa Amma Meeting, Aptop ( laptop ) in his vocabulary and imitates me typing with headphones on, sipping green tea.

With no boundaries between office life and personal life, there is no space for social life either. And there is nothing to blame the office life for that since the virus takes the primary blame for it anyway.

Now with all this chaos around us, when work requires one to think deeply and extract its gems, there is an interesting condition. When one is able to sink oneself into the deep workings of the mind, making connections, all the din outside fades away, replaced by quiet neurons at work. But as always the deep work sessions last but for a few minutes. Many a times the deep sessions happen by themselves like at loo or while doing something else which require mechanical repetitive actions. Also the time just before sleep invades at night and just before sleep retreats in the morning brings along with it various insights which enhance or correct the previous day's deep thoughts.

The meditative state of the mind is so satisfying and enriching that one yearns to keep going back there and it requires significant investment in isolation and time. So naturally, it keeps many shallow tasks aside, which requires others around you to pick them up or if it suits, they'll just wait for you to get back to it.

It starts with a crushing feeling

Edit: I put a stupid title as I couldn't find anything more truthful

Considering the enormous pressure of tasks, responsibilities ,and things in general that I get to deal with of late, I thought I should write about them.

The key events are : the Crushing feeling, the sinking feeling,... (more to be added whenever I realize it )

A crushing feeling of sorts is what exhibits itself at these points in life at first.
And that crushing tons of forces turns into a sinking feeling only when one's ground isn't hard enough to hold it up.

So, at the crushing stage, you know that you have mismanaged either schedules, promises or priorities to let that happen. But then, that is the point to re-align priorities, find spare willpower and exert all forces against the crushing forces. This action, when done well at this stage with focus, gives tremendous boost to productivity, and results too are generally good. The reason for talking about results too early is because it is an observation. An observation which has a confirmation bias that when shit happens and you manage to get out without falling into the pit, you generally would have done better than the average lot who avoid shit altogether.

So there it is;how to handle a crushing feeling. If not handled, what could happen, you ask?

Well, some of them lead to a sinking feeling if the crushing lasts for a while and you haven't really done anything to alleviate it. I would first be concerned why you didn't do anything. Are you incapacitated due to multiple crushing issues, or is the sheer intensity of some of them so high as to blow your defensive fuses, or did some of them trick you using a bias and made you fall quicker than usual?

There are specific solutions to each of these types, and more to be found for any new types that do come up. Anyway, we are only concerned with the ones you can't handle at this stage.

This brings us to the sinking feeling. Now if this is in spite of all your efforts at the early stage, then boy, you have something to deal with. If not, go back to those steps (I know, I didn't write any steps) and try all of them until you get over the sinking feeling. Well, for trying well you might even cut down the sinking feeling to a crushing one, which you already know how to deal with. Voila.

Now for the ones that haven't reduced significantly, or haven't at all. I would now apply all cognitive tricks rather than try to face it emotionally, as most of the emotional tricks would already have failed. Now cognitive tricks are neat little lies that you tell yourself( quite like those you tell yourself everyday anyway), to deal with nasty truths( or lies that are hard to disprove ). I won't be able to give a generic trick here until I figure out how to write about them in that fashion.

Tips? Be smart, think wacky. Question the improbable and impossible ones, without worrying about consequences of unraveling even the most closely held beliefs. After all, most of the pain comes from closely held beliefs on ideas, people, things, and sometimes yourselves. Just be careful on what you are unraveling. So how to be careful without worrying about what it leads to? Well, in my software mindset, I can ask you to keep a separate namespace, or virtual environment to do the experiments with the hazardous material. If it doesn't work, you should have rollback stacks which allow you to forget what you saw inside. What is said,seen and done inside your namespace, remains there. You commit it to main DB..ahem neurological system only after a period of trials,contemplation and building enough checkpoints and identifying potential symptoms of early disasters.

Now, some of you might think: "I get the problem, but what did you say did for it?" or "Damn, how do I do that mumbo-jumbo?". Some of you may not even catch what is being talked about all through out. If you are in the first group with questions, which I assume might be the case with most of you who have read it till this point, I can help. For the others, well, not time yet for you to grasp this. Skip.

How to build yourself a nice HAZMAT(exciting term) area or sandbox(meh) environment?
Well, you do that simply by allowing generally toxic ideas to be formulated in your mind without judgement, and extract useful, positive information/messages out from it. Now, if you haven't tried it before, or have a fragile and emotional mind, I would tread carefully with these suggestions. What works for me may not work for someone else. Same way, what works for a serial killer's mind doesn't work for me. So take my advice with that in mind. I am not asking you to think of murdering someone you dislike, or doing something nasty beyond your normal range of aggression (God save me, if my reader turns out to be a psychopath, and doesn't read beyond this step).
Now, in order do that activity without damaging your own conscience( though I do admit that I haven't been able to make 100% leak-proof HAZMAT area, often poisoning my mind for a short period at times with that activity ), you need tools and belief systems adaptations.

In terms of tools, I can throw some terms like meditation, deep visualization, keenly observing own responses, reactions of people around, and general changes in mood/tone of yourself and people you interact with. Also being able to visualize your mind as being outside yourself helps you see yourself objectively and then on questioning provide subjective inputs which help you in diagnosis. It helps if you are generally suspicious or curious about anything in the nature, people, yourself, and all mumbo jumbo without judgement on sensibilities and external validation. Just play cool.

Belief system adaptations would be a major one if you have beliefs which disallow such practices. Moral codes, fear of judgement, believing in external validations, stereotypes etc. obstruct your ability to lift heavy mental weights with different and opposing ideas. So I have observed that people who are shunned from certain sections of society due to whatever conditions of non-compliance often have a very high mental resiliency, and if applied correctly they usually have a huge mileage in life.
But, don't try to force it. It is the non-compliance part that is important, not the getting kicked out part. If you are willing to not force a compliance just to stay put, then it also means you believe in your own methods, without which there is no way for you to go ahead. These paths seldom have guides or gurus to lead you.

Of late, I have felt that the path of certain religious orders, mystical sects and a multitude of non-compliant groups that defy definitions are similar in that sense. The availability of a teacher/guide is a boon as well as a bane. If not chosen or acquainted with the right person with the right level of independence given to the individual, its all a waste. Most of the frauds happen because people choose for compliance even in the exotic wings of life which are meant for non-compliance.

What a comedy. hu ha ha

Living under a rock

It is when you are involved in a task that usually your mind conjures up strange stuff, the shower thoughts being immensely popular already.

It was during one such moment that I thought of someone who might have been living under a rock for the last one year. If that person( here its myself ) comes out and gets back into civilized life,certain aspects would need a detailed explanation by those around.

Credits:http://activerain.com

I would definitely be surprised by the lowered rates at which I'd be getting mobile internet in India, thanks to Jio whose weird-one-year free packs would take me equally long to understand.

Thinking of getting cleaned up and buy a few groceries if I head to the nearest shopping mall, I would have the surprise of my life when they wouldn't accept the currency notes from my wallet. I would even have a terrible time if I were to be incarcerated for owning money!!

Supposing I didn't get arrested and managed to buy from my card ( whose pin I surprisingly remembered ) and head to the petrol pump with my vehicle, I'd be surprised to face the pink notes and the daily changing rates concept.

Faced with a currency shortage, I would walk to my bank's nearest ATM and find that all ATMs in the vicinity are either super crowded or out of cash. After half an hour of waiting in the queue for another bank's ATM when I manage to get in and swipe my card, I would be horrified to see it complaining that I need to visit my bank before I can do this.

Infuriated I walk into my bank's crowded branch, wait the queue out and finally talk to the personnel, who informs me that I can't get any cash out without my Aadhar card being linked. Drat!

I visit a friend, beg him to withdraw cash from his account and he informs me that the bank now charges withdrawals too. Having seen so much, I find it surprisingly easy to digest and get my purchases done and go into a deep sleep.

Within a week, I stumble upon these significant and complex changes:-
a) The cow has replaced the tiger as the national animal and it is easier to kill a tiger claiming that it is a threat to the cattle population.

b) Secularism has become sickularism and the thought of being equal is highly despicable in society
c) There is a clown leading America into disaster

d) Trolls are the best source of online humour
e) A monopolistic power rules over entire India, almost
f) All news is fake

g) The newborn state of Telangana has taken flight, and there are many more in gestation and conception stages
h) People are talking about metros, highspeed trains, hyperloop and what not..
i) There are more things being banned than being invented
j) Exchange deals seem to look like a thing of the past as GST( its the Indian Area-55) kicks in
k) America isn't everyone's blue-eyed boy anymore
l) Europe has turned into a refugee camp
m) Britain is no longer part of Europe!

n) Govt jobs are the fad now
o) We have more entrepreneurs and religious zealots per sq.km to compensate for the decline in large private enterprise

 p) Yo-yo Honey Singh isn't composing anymore, but his inspired versions do!

q) There are more really innovative new Indian startups and individuals making a difference out there
r) More people have become sensitive to balancing development with ecological health
s) The railways have become much neater but long long distances to go

What I am glad (or not so ) hasn't changed:-
a) Prices of things are still increasing

b) The crowd and heat of the cities keep increasing
c) More farmers keep sacrificing their lives and livelihood
d) Number of super rich Indians keep rising
e) Super rich and powerful criminals stay out of reach of law and stay in vogue

Phew!

I think I should return to my rock and shut this mad world out before it floods me with the idiosyncrasies and paradoxes.

What went unsaid

Life, as I had only read before in places, never takes the turns we wish it to. It never follows the waypoints we lay in our dreams. Sitting atop a hill, I could very well look back now and reflect on these sparkling words, and relate well to it.

Completely aware that this realization, however solid and significant it is to me and my near ones, doesn't change the reality, I still wish to meditate upon the beauty of active living against wishful living on a different occasion.

As a matter of fact, today's reflections captured a lot of old memories and opened them up in present context. Exactly like dusting a old library and finding remnants whose superlative significance has been reduced to dust over time.

In this particular bit, I meditate on why particular commitments overshadow the larger scheme of life, and at times we tend to lose ourselves in them. I, being a peculiar kind of person, however fond of planning, also have a high tendency to take leaps of faith. Such leaps, bounds, patchy planning, inspired actions, compelled decisions, postponed decisions, shortcuts and so on is what I see when I look backwards to just the last two years of my life.

At a time when I was already at a conflict point with my hobbies, career and health, I found myself flowing into a larger conflict with career, passion and personal life. Conflicts followed, some won, some given up and a few still going on in various forms.

In between all these "life" stories, there were several amusing stories, incidents, ideas and experiences, which I forgot to pen down. I realize that was a big mistake, because I now know that I can't expect life to repeat the good parts or any parts for that matter.

With me joining the leagues of young people turning their lives into 'busy' schedules, assisted by gadgets, a part of keeps struggling to juggle the old way against it.

From today onwards, my effort is on to try to keep the conduit open and let those come straight out in various forms.

And a nice piece from Rumi to add some food for thought:-

Story of a wooden log

Once upon a time there was this fine log of wood. It belonged to a mammoth tree, deep in the western jungles. After being cut down by the woodcutter, it had travelled through dense jungles, various wood mills, on several bullock carts and ships to reach its current place with this carpenter.

It was not a very nice shaped log of wood, and naturally its brethren were all made into exquisite pieces of furniture or sent up to the royal carpenter. At least that is what it heard from the other logs present around it. It, on the other hand was left with this poor carpenter without even being polished once. It held its breath and expected to be picked up, each time the carpenter came up to the storage to find logs for his next piece. Each time it had to be content with watching some other log being taken away.

Due to this nature of events, the log often faced a lot of ridicule from the other pieces. As days went by, the carpenter went on adding the pieces to various pieces of furniture he was making. But this log never got picked even once by mistake.

As the number of pieces started diminishing in the workshop, the peculiar piece often worried whether it will be left alone in the dinghy workshop. It often lamented its fate that when all the others went to large mansions and served their purpose well, it could do nothing but wait in the dark store room for an eternity.

Many months went by thus, and the piece had begun to wonder if it should try rotting itself out so that carpenter would be forced to put it out of its misery. It was on one such dull morning that the carpenter strode into the workshop and instead of picking up the usual square blocks, his hand reached for this one and picked it up. Quite taken off guard, the log started quivering with fear. It thought that the carpenter was planning to throw it away or even worse, turn it into saw dust!

It continued to shiver as the carpenter went to work on it with his tools. It was then that the carpenter picked up his sharp saw and gripped the wood hard, his eyes glowing like fire. Terrified, the wood piece knew its life was ending, and shut its eyes.

A faint knocking and vibration woke it up. It tried to figure out its own form, and was glad to find itself in one piece. But it hurt where the saw had left its marks and some parts of him were now shaped differently. It found itself staring at darkness, but could hear faint murmurs of wooden pieces and after listening intently, it caught conversations that it recognized. Those were its former companions from the same tree. "Where am I? What could these logs be doing here?" - though the log to itself.

It decided to find the answer and shouted out loudly to its kin. When they responded, it put forth its questions to them and to its greatest amazement it discovered that it was now present in the royal court of the Maharaja. It couldn't hold its tears of joy. But yet again kept on asking further, and could only get to know that it now adorned a royal piece of furniture and the other pieces didn't know anything as it had come late in the night covered with satin. So they advised to wait till daybreak to figure out things.

The piece of wood couldn't sleep that night and impatiently waited for daylight. It must have dozed off in the tiredness of all the excitement and woke up with the sound of conch and drums. It could make out hundreds of gold plated men holding weapons standing in two neat files on its two sides, and behind them stood several men and women dressed in beautifully colourful attires. It could make out lines of trumpeters and drummers playing their instruments with vigour as various colourful flags fluttered in the breeze.

Its eyes immediately rested on a cushion seating adorned with gold and satin, and recognized one its kin among the pieces of wood that held the cushion. Quite happy to find a familiar face, it wanted to ask it hundreds of questions about the strange place it was in. But then it saw all the other pieces set in similar pieces of furniture, now lying vacant behind the beautifully attired men. They all seemed to have their gaze fixed on him, and with respect. He was puzzled. Only until the fully decorated and marvelously glittering king came forth and walked towards him, did he realize what has become of him.

Such is the story of that peculiar piece of wood, who had a twist of fate and found its place in the society. And what position would have suited someone as peculiar and unique as it was, other than the supreme ruler's jade crested throne? This story underlines the learning that not everyone is made to serve the mundane everyday purposes of life. There are some who are destined for special roles that call for special skills as well as pains. That is what makes life beautiful.

Adios and have a nice end to the wonderful year :)

Diwali musings

Lying on a dusty bench on the platform, with my eyes shut, I was trying to catch a few minutes of rest. Hardly a minute would have passed, when a loud rumbling noise woke me up, and I found a column of dust settling down on me. As I struggled to cup my eyes and mouth to prevent the dust from entering in, I caught a glance of the source of interruption.

The rumble of clanging wheels and screeching brakes turned into a cacophony of human voices as the passengers milled out of a multitude of exists - doors, windows and emergency exits as well. Rubbing my eyes, partly to clear the dust and partly to clear the sleepiness, I could see black forms of people carrying an odd assortment of bags and baskets, chattering loudly. Loud enough they were for this unearthly hour, and the language too I couldn't make out. But it sounded a bit like Odiya/Bengali and I tried to read the train's plate in the dim light. I could make out Howrah in the name and assumed these were migrants, and judging from their assorted luggage, mostly labourers.

They talked with high energy, and in my sleepy state I imagined them to be relatives coming to visit their kin working in Bangalore for the Diwali festival, but I realized I could be wrong by miles. Slowly this mass of people moved on to the railway station's exits and silence descended once again on the railway station. The cold wind had driven the passengers waiting for their trains and the vagabonds to seek refuge under their warm clothes/blankets. Many fully shrouded figures lay sprawled or hunched over the otherwise deserted railway station. Some were still moving about, mostly trying to find a good spot to keep them warm.

After a few more minutes of scanning the scene, I decided to get back to my pseudo nap. Hardly an hour had passed since the announcement was made about the train's delay and there were couple more to kill. I adjusted my backpack to get the softest parts right underneath my head and closed my eyes, telling myself to take a controlled nap. I must have dozed off for 10 minutes, before the buzz and bites of the blood suckers harrowed me out of my peaceful existence.

Unable to sleep, I lie there thinking of the exams I had and felt the tiredness grow within me. Having sent my wife ahead of me, I was supposed to write my exams and catch up with her at Chennai for out first Diwali. Suddenly, feeling the strong urge to jot down after a long time, I sat there keying with typos on my phone's notepad app. The last minute preparations, tiring journey to the exam centre, and the nerve racking exam itself. All these floated past my mind in those few minutes of reflection, slowly drawing away the tiredness.

Catching the shady figures moving around from the corner of my eye, I decided to stop the jottings and catch a final session of rest hoping not to fall into deep slumber before the train finally arrived. I was glad for this solo journey, having had taken a long break from it for over a year. Like the hundreds of life forms that take refuge in the crevice of a rock or a tree, such pockets of solitude offer much to the creative life forms within your head.

Adios.

waking up on the battle field

I opened my eyes to the sharp twang of bowstrings, and suddenly the scene before me started becoming more clear.

I could clearly make out one of our archers putting all his life into ensuring that every arrow flew as far as they were meant to, and the speed at which he was losing the shafts meant he was panicking.

This didn't feel good, and I couldn't see how many more archers made up the line. They needed to relax if they were to be effective, and I wondered which moron was the commander around here. I wished I could just walk out and get them in shape.

Its when I tried to move that the searing pain cut my vision again. I was just summoning my strength to stand up, when something braced my face with a heavy whizzing sound .I knew it was an arrow, and it indeed was.

A black coated shaft with silver feathers and tough metal. A fine shaft indeed and I couldn't help appreciate how many hours of art would have crafted such a wonder. A shame if they were being wasted upon corpses and random trees.

On closely examining the shaft, I could see that it had pierced the shield kept inside the tent, and the blade was still intact. The moment of admiration passed when I identified the marks of our enemy. My heart pumped hard. The enemy archers were hitting the camps and with such fine arrows, and our foot soldiers won't stand a chance against an onslaught.

It was time for a retreat. I looked around for my commander, but couldn't find him anywhere

*********

I open my eyes to the constant tip-tap noises, and suddenly the scene before me started becoming more clear.

I could clearly make out one of our pals putting all his life into typing a mail and ensure that no one can reply to it in another day, and the speed at which he was mis-typing meant there was a release today.

This didn't feel good, and I couldn't see how many more coders made up the office space. They needed to relax if they were to be effective, and I wondered which moron was the supervisor around here. I wished I could just walk out and get them laid off.

Its when I tried to read my mails that the searing pain cut my vision again. I was just summoning my strength to send a reply, when a notification blinked on a screen with a screeching sound. I knew it was an issue mail, and indeed it was.

A mean and nasty one with enough logs. A fine mail indeed and I couldn't help appreciate how many hours of composing would have crafted such a wonder. A shame if they were being wasted upon non-existing defects and random teams.

On closely examining the mail, I could see that it had found some real defects and it had more logs. The moment of admiration passed when I identified the marks of a customer issue. My heart pumped hard. The testers were hitting the teams with such fine mails,  and our developers won't stand a chance against an onslaught.

 It was time for going Out of Office. I looked around for my manager, but couldn't find him anywhere.

Lord of War

Opening up the news websites, or on switching on the TV, I regularly see images of soldiers carrying weapons, or protesters demonstrating in front of policemen armed to the teeth. Add to this the image and news of regular shoot-outs in various neighbourhoods.

On one such occasion I couldn't help wonder what I would think on seeing the same images, if I were to own a significant number of arms and ammunition factories. Supposedly, I had connections in the shady east Europe, or North Africa or South East Asia, to name a few, this would have been fairly easy too..

What would be my thoughts? Would I be noticing the weapons, the nature of usage, the country, and going over my deals and plan my charts? Will I call up my execs and ask for ground report? I would maybe run calculations in my head on which gang leaders I would want to meet, which lobby gangs should I fund, which political party to add my weight behind and so on.

I would be a very busy man for sure, as competition is heavy in this business.
The low cost Chinese models make it hard to negotiate with the rich yet stupid clients that we arms tycoons have to regularly deal with. And the rascals who run for shit like peace and charity missions continuously make me lose markets. But then the damage they make hardly makes a dent in my profits.

Dealing with politicos is the hardest part everywhere. The shady goons in their employ bring good deals, but going ahead with their cuts has to be a very discrete, else I would be the one who has to face the music. Its easier to deal with anarchies and rebels, and hence our organization has been dedicated to creating more and more such markets.

Well, last but not the least the domestic markets are booming everywhere. Ranging from people who keep guns to defend their property from neighbours to those who want to keep their illegal empires intact, I have a big list of customers.

Its tough going these days, but we are good at this, so don't be surprised if you find your closest friend or relative in my customer list :) sooner or later..

act of God

The noise was deafening. People who were until then drunk in the rhythm of the festival drums were now staring at each other and looking all around, waiting for someone to start fleeing.

From a distance, I watched the smoke plume form over the main building and I knew it was a matter of time before the crowd reacted. As expected, soon the crowd went berserk, causing a classic stampede. I quiety congratulated myself for the well executed mission.

People would read about this as a local incident now and maybe forget it after a while. But my moment of glory and satisfaction would come when the truth gets unrevealed to the entire world, in the next couple of decades. My plan is foolproof and now I should think about getting back to normal life and gel into the crowd, and await my fruits.

Anyway the change has been set in motion. I have triggered the next series of evolution required for the ultimate triumph of the human race, without even their knowledge.

I would be known as the father of modern humanity.

Flat!

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.

The flight was at 4 in the morning. Raghu was used to regular airport trips and never in his 5 years service has he ever had any problems with taking his passengers on time. And naturally he enjoyed a good reputation with all the major customers.

Mohan sir and his grandchildren were the passengers today. The kids were fast asleep and Raghu drove very smoothly so as to not disturb them. The highway was devoid of any traffic or street lights, and he knew that the road up to the airport was like this. Any accident could prove fatal, as there won't be anyone around. He shuddered at the thought as he remembered his son whose first birthday it was today. He had promised his wife that he would be back home before sunrise to arrange everything. His mind was racing as he thought through all the plans. He imagined his son's delight on seeing the toys he has bought for him. Raghu also wanted to look into the eyes of all those who had opposed his inter-caste marriage and who claimed that it would bring bad luck and disaster into the family. He smiled sarcastically at the thought.

He was jerked out of his dream by a gang of bikers racing past too close shouting some obscenities at each other. He had to slow down suddenly and noticed in the rear view mirror that the kids had woken up. He swore silently but kept his pace. He wished the unruly youth to hell and wanted to clobber them up if he caught them later. But he reminded himself that today was too important a day to get involved with such rowdies.

Some distance ahead, he noticed that the entire gang had stopped, that too haphazardly parking their bikes all over the road. As he moved past them, he noticed that one of them had a flat tyre, and this time he couldn't keep his cool.

He unfastened the seat belt, and stuck his head out flashing a finger, swearing loudly at them. But in reply, he got horrified looks instead of irritated ones from the gang. Raghu hardly had time to react before something hard hit his face and he could feel himself rolling. Something small darted from the passenger seat and hit the windscreen with a thud. Something warm oozed onto Raghu's face, as he shivered with fright. The fright didn't last long as darkness entered his head, and the familiar warmth covered him all over.

A deep breath brought in a sharp pain all over. His head hurt and the clean white room came into view, and he could make out his wife with their son. She seemed to have cried for long. He remembered the bearded rider who was shouting something at him when he had stuck his head out to swear at them. Seeing the same guy standing besides his wife sent spasms of rage through him and the darkness re-entered his head and he lost consciousness.

The doctor came running in by then and after a quick examination declared that Raghu was out of danger and he asked the sobbing wife to thank God and mostly the bearded man. "If he wasn't around, Raghu too would have died the ruthless death his passengers died." The memories of the shattered bodies of the old man and his two kids sent shivers down his spine. Too much for a day. Looking at the bewildered face of the rider, the doctor said - "Young man, the tyre couldn't have chosen a better time to get punctured. I don't know if you believe in destiny. But your flat tyre saved this man and his family. Be thankful for that."

a distant rose

the naughty smile
that sweet innocence always present.
too sweet to ignore

but each time I go near
the thorns prick
and the smile vanishes

hence I stare from afar
at the brave heart
that commands an iron body

smooth yet firm is the face,
always lit up with the bright smile
the mind clear and straight

always swimming in great ideas
no time for petty people
for the journey is long.

open to strangers
but finding the good ones is difficult
for everyone is behind a mask

the mind is held high
heart ever racing
future is bright

but one doesn't know
who is being talked of here
only that someone I love

oh sweet mother in the heaven

what more do I need to offer
for you to shower ur nectar
for the pretty things I wish to forge

the music is there
the mad head shaking is here
and the frenzied prayer

I have but scribbled on the wall
but things are moving in a crawl
don't be so cruel..


the lights are dim
and the plates are clean
all that is awaited is the gleam

for you I shall embarrass myself before all
for you are the one who shall give me all
and am just awaiting your call

creativity, oh great mother of writers
will you not bless this critter
for to you is my fealty pledged.