Thursday, April 28, 2016

A letter from Finland

Today is August 5th 2015. I am writing this from my apartment room in Leppavaara, situated in Espoo, part of Greater Helsinki. This long stay of three months is coming to an end in a couple of days, and I can't wait to get back home.

This time around I came in the right season of spring. Surprised to see blooming flowers and lush greenery everywhere, this is a welcome sight compared to the end-of-winter visit last year. The sun was shining bright from the day we came, and all the folks here are in a jolly mood.

I am happy to note that people here just adore the sun, and I realize how lucky we are back in India to have sun all around the year. But the climate in most parts of our nation isn't comparable to the mild sun of the nordic region. The hottest it can ever get in a summer is 25 centigrade. To talk about of such things back home would be nothing but blasphemy.

Nevertheless, the folks were all jolly, more places were accessible by foot and by transport, and we had a hell lot of time at hand. In my normal form, I wouldn't know the limits of my excitement. But this time, I found myself struggling to focus on many things beyond the official business I came here to attend.

My expectations based on the last year's visits couldn't have been more wrong. The conditions in Finland, and my own personal conditions last year made the stay very memorable and excruciatingly adventurous. It was almost like a vacation, minus the official business which we never allowed to be tampered with.

With just four weeks, being my first overseas journey, and freshly out from depressing events back home, I had all the enthusiasm and energy to stretch my legs onto all major corners of the frigid country.

This time around, my journey was packed into an already time deprived schedule, and with a more difficult task to accomplish. I was equally sad and excited at the beginning of the journey. What I felt could be summarized in the quote from the movie "Motorcycle Diaries" of Che Guevara: "Melancholy for what was left behind and on the other hand all the enthusiasm for entering new lands".

As with all the journeys I have done so far, it takes a while of adjustment to get the enthusiasm kicked in. When I look back now, I realize that the first couple of months were mostly lacklustre, mostly owing to being completely absorbed in official business. We of course managed to cover our weekends with some exciting journeys, but most of the time otherwise was spent addressing our official problems.

This time around, the fun was all about getting to (or rather, having to) eat stuff I cook, finding cost effective ways to find nutritious food, fight boredom and travel to major destinations, while taking care of official business. With rudimentary knowledge of how things work in Finland, and a grasp of the tongue, it took me two months to start my adventurous explorations.

The season promised outdoor activities of all kinds, and the Finns just love their outdoors. I have high respect for the Finns in this regard, and enjoyed being there in that season to see them come out of their frigid homes and enjoy like normal human beings.

I haven't quite figured out how to put out the interesting experiences out here, but I guess I have to break em up to avoid very long blogs. I could add a few pictures to save a thousand words for me. Watch out those articles soon..


What went unsaid

Life, as I had only read before in places, never takes the turns we wish it to. It never follows the waypoints we lay in our dreams. Sitting atop a hill, I could very well look back now and reflect on these sparkling words, and relate well to it.

Completely aware that this realization, however solid and significant it is to me and my near ones, doesn't change the reality, I still wish to meditate upon the beauty of active living against wishful living on a different occasion.

As a matter of fact, today's reflections captured a lot of old memories and opened them up in present context. Exactly like dusting a old library and finding remnants whose superlative significance has been reduced to dust over time.

In this particular bit, I meditate on why particular commitments overshadow the larger scheme of life, and at times we tend to lose ourselves in them. I, being a peculiar kind of person, however fond of planning, also have a high tendency to take leaps of faith. Such leaps, bounds, patchy planning, inspired actions, compelled decisions, postponed decisions, shortcuts and so on is what I see when I look backwards to just the last two years of my life.

At a time when I was already at a conflict point with my hobbies, career and health, I found myself flowing into a larger conflict with career, passion and personal life. Conflicts followed, some won, some given up and a few still going on in various forms.

In between all these "life" stories, there were several amusing stories, incidents, ideas and experiences, which I forgot to pen down. I realize that was a big mistake, because I now know that I can't expect life to repeat the good parts or any parts for that matter.

With me joining the leagues of young people turning their lives into 'busy' schedules, assisted by gadgets, a part of keeps struggling to juggle the old way against it.

From today onwards, my effort is on to try to keep the conduit open and let those come straight out in various forms.

And a nice piece from Rumi to add some food for thought:-

Thursday, December 31, 2015

lost passion

What is that one passion which you would love to restart in your life again? #lostpassion

The passion to challenge limits.
The passion to define my own rules.
The passion to kick away at the gates of pain.
To not give up in the face of overwhelming odds, and to not take No for an answer.
To just live life, loving all, hating none, holding no grudges.

I wish to bring myself back on the paths which almost always passed through the beautiful jungle streams, and vast green meadows. The paths which also went through steep rocky inclines which kill every muscle on your limbs and squeeze your lungs. The very same paths also stung you with the harshest sun, and made you shiver at the coldest night and often stung with insects, thorns and what not.

I wish to bring back the passion for action on the spur with the wind on my face, blood pumping, and vision clear.

To take off, get lost, get stamped out, defeated and to rise again and touch the sky. Just to get back home, and enjoy life all over again

However content one might want to be with all the good graces in life, one who has tasted the life on the edge, finds it particularly hard to find the green meadows juicy. Weaknesses allow for temporary shift in everything, but fire within just refuses to die. Just like a tiger in the wild which doesn't waste its time on someone else's kills, and takes pride in its own ability to hunt, such people still stoke the fires of this dangerous passion which unfortunately the current society isn't ready to accommodate so well. And of course, to point at others alone is pure hypocrisy.

Ultimately, like the infinite circle of the yin-yang, the conflict between the creators and the preservers will go on forever, and we all perform minute roles to complete the much much larger circle of life, as it goes on revealing its true nature as and when ordained.

And of course - Freedom. In my opinion, one of most hyped, least understood and most misquoted concept of modern humanity.

May you be free enough to free yourself from the misconceptions of freedom which has kept the very concept of freedom lacking in its pure essence, if there might be one such.