Monday, March 16, 2020

Avoiding drafts

Lazy and unfocused that I am, I am just gonna dump my topics here instead of giving myself false hopes and plans that I would write on these.

a) I want to write about some of the books I have failed to review at length. But I am skeptical as that list goes back 4-5 years at the rate of approximately 20 books per year. But I am still hoping on that because some of them were really special, moving and I now believe books have lasting effect than movies.

b) I want to write about selective events in my personal life, the good, the bad, the ugly, the grey, the what-the-hell, the who-cares and the why-nots. But this is the hardest to get to write and convince myself on what and why to write these.

c) Sometimes I think I can do some serious reviews like phones, movies, places etc. with my personal touch of how I experienced it. It becomes a relic of my experience rather than helping someone. So I lose interest very quickly.

d) The highly anticipated ( least likely to happen ) category is the goals, and to-do section involving stuff that I can put in public space. I would sometimes have many of these in my mind and diary or pieces of random paper, that I feel overconfident on being able to write whole articles on them. The moment the task gets done, or loses its significance even temporarily, that piece of paper goes out into the dustbin. How am I to write extensively on such fickle matters :)

So you see my dilemma, dear reader. Compared to my life in 2013, I have real stuff to do now, to which I would rather devote my time, instead of scribbling here. What I should scribble here would be having some other justification of its own, of course only in my head.

Dealing with drafts

If you noticed, or go and check now that I ask, you can see I published lots of articles in quick succession.

Those were old drafts which I had accumulated since I stopped writing things properly. And that has been the case for many years now. Some of the old drafts have no relevance now, but nevertheless, if anything was longer than a couple of paragraphs and had some message, I just published them all.

I ended up deleting some placeholders. Ugh I hate those symptoms of procrastination,and greed to cover things which actually doesn't have a strong pull to write about. Of course many were about fleeting feelings of elation or frustration, but two lines of bullshit or a page of well planned placeholders for a travelogue don't cut it.

Generally I am all in for drafts as that allows ideas to mature, if you leave something out for years at a time, and you actually move, then it is just rotten, stagnant pieces of an earlier life. Better be displayed as a relic as it is, rather than by trying to polish it and get attached to the past.

Now and many times, I have this question in my mind. Will I write again? Write again like in those peak years of 2013, on those topics? Nay, mostly not. I would or might write about new things, new mindset and whatever I feel like in future. No guarantees there though.

Sometimes I feel I am a self-obsessed maniac who loves to see his own writing. But I also remind myself not to be too harsh on myself and ridicule that same idea. 

Suomi

[A very nice topic that has a special place in mind, but I don't have a space in my mind anymore for old drafts. Hence publishing it. Will follow up with a proper travelogue if I care about it enough ]

Finland!

A name that always popped up in my mind with visions of ice rinks and ice hockey. And of course the name Helsinki rhymes well with rinks. "Helsinki sinks in rinks.."

So it was an like an explosive reaction when last year I found myself staring down the wings of an KLM Airbus as it cleared the clouds and flew low over the almost pitch black skies over Helsinki. There it was. Finland - and it looked nothing like what I had thought it to be.

Though I was able to do my basic research, the kind I wouldn't have done before, it couldn't prepare me for what was to become my permanent record of the land - the smell of birch, the quaint silence and the