Friday, July 31, 2015

a lil sad note from far about my countrymen

I saw three social media bombardments in last one week of having to come back to Facebook, because my real life became a bit boring, not being on my home soil.

first there was the ultra comedy bullshit "boycott kerala" bullshit, and its equally bullshit responses from keralites putting up statuses, sharing punch dialogues and what not.

then the undeniably sad demise of one person who did things right, but the internet was just too happy to forward,share and put up messages of truly motivation value, some bullshit and just as they thought they need to find another "topic", the controversial hanging.  I deeply regret even talking about the two topics in the same paragraph, but social media has found a way to think these are things on opposite scales. Someone to love, someone to hate.

While no one clearly wants to degrade a man we all love, we all have our own rights to do so if we wish to. In the same manner, all have the right to takes sides about someone the public wants dead.
I had my own thoughts, but it ain't so straight to just bluntly to make a binary out of it. Emotions are high, arguments are valid in both sides about various things, but none of them make full sense, as all just want to put their bullshit opinions out there. I have my opinions and doubts and questions too on the procedure as per what I read in the media, but I also am aware that more than me who is just another fellow writing something on the internet, not even remotely affected by the acts of the person, there are people who want closure. Closure is important. All said and done, can we question the law that can be stepped up and down by political sidings and populist needs, rather than by law itself? I am not worried about one hung terrorist. I am worried about the millions of loopholes we have in our system and each public exposure of them should make lawmakers worry of the other hidden ones. That is, if they are even bothered about it!

Now, off late, I have realized that opinions are a very destructive thing when it comes to certain type of decisions. While it might sound oppressing( as it did to me initially), I find this article perfectly making sense. We in our hostel have this one dialogue - "C'mon you were asked to give an opinion, not some bullshit you wanted to say." when someone gives a random crazy opinion when asked about one. That can be excused as amusement in a gang of friends. With the crazy internet and even crazier news rooms, people have taken awesome liberties with use of opinions in place of facts and judgement based on merits that follow certain guidelines. In short, civilization! its like you giving me an "opinion" that 2+2=48 and frigging justify extreme measures to enforce the same and and make a tom foolery about it!

as a country so diverse, so emotional and so prone to being led into things, I find it not very surprising that we keep doing this. many guys write intelligent stuff, good points, mature people. there are also the usual shouters,sharers, booers, haters( thank god, haven't seen any of those in my timeline yet). but with the luxury of being able to read almost all news from the comfort of our lazy beds and chairs, we form so much opinions and are free to throw them anywhere, the shit is almost always hitting the fan!

I personally try to not respond to such things, take things head on and worsen things. I believe my good friends who frequent the social media also have the good sense to realize the damage they do to themselves. coz lives are lived on the ground, out in the open, often in market places and court rooms with their own rules and constraints. you pick up so much negativity and predefined mentality with a few hours of being on social media that can only give you more enemies and get you nowhere closer to solving even the tiniest of problems you tend to crib about.

and while I started typing a small note of protest on FB, i think this no longer qualifies, because I would be putting up the same bullshit that others are. Hence I am moving it here, my personal space for spitting out stuff. Please bear with me, and join my ramblings or give your enlightened advices or throw your stuff at me in the comments. You could even close the page without saying a word. I am grateful :)

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

curing the blind

an empty canvas it is,
the one I loved it indeed is

I stare at the white screen
that makes me wanna scream

finally I let loose my stream of words,
and that brings in a flock of birds

but in place of the usual dribble
I feel a sense of trouble

a new fear is here
and it seems to be not from near

as the words keep appearing
I find the trouble disappearing

I won this time
but will it stand the test of time

the doubt is here to stay I fear
but I love the end to be near

like a crown made of thick lead,
it sits on my head

drying up my trickling stream of words,
and driving off the flocking birds

the drought has been long
and I feel I do not belong

o mother of creativity
i beg thy for the clarity

for this son has sinned
and for it he has been pinned

unlock thy kindness
so he can cure his blindness

and open his wretched heart
so he can do his part

--- OR --

how we are part of the system that expects us to spend carelessly

Please read the following article first.

I must admit, I am blown away completely by this guy's revelations. They make a lot of sense. Its fun to think if we all had jobs that were of shorter period or different time, how would the world around reflect it? Think of it like residing in an area with everyone working in same industry. All the industries around would adjust their offerings accordingly. Similar is this person's realization that after his long break from routine profession, he finds many old habits which seemed normal to be quite abnormal.

But what caught my interest is the possibility that the "life" that we live outside our office, is also just a by-product of it. And probably we are constantly involved in buying things we don't really need. And it might just to keep in line with others, or rather basically keep the dissatisfaction at bay. The same dissatisfaction brought about by the huge span of our time taken away by our professions. Its all connected! But still why do we want to buy stuff we know we don't need?

I see that in the past, there were the rich or the poor. The rich had too much wealth and too little to do, ending up doing exotic stuff or throwing their power around buying stuff, taking over , fighting wars etc. The poor had hardly any time to think beyond basic amenities and surviving the hurdles put up by the wealthy. Dissatisfaction was an entirely different ball game back then.

But the modern middle class person who earns enough, still finds himself truly in the middle of new problems. He earns well enough to pay off debts and serve his future generations. Duh, sounds stupid. Doesn't it? Which middle class person can claim he can serve future generations. Well, actually that is kind of true. If you change the perception what is needed for future generation, that is. We always tend to compare our goals to that of super wealthy fellows who end up saving empires for their generations. If only we knew and were assured that we have now is just great, we could stop the craving. Well, knowing what one really wants is an elusive treasure, ain't it? So we just would have to live with not knowing that, and occasionally pursuing things that attract our heart and mind.

We know we like the money we earn(admit it), but we aren't quite always happy with it. Ah, buying that expensive gadget/dress/vacation made life so fulfilling, but again we need to keep buying the seemingly unnecessary goods we see at the market, because the money will grow back, and what good do we do by stacking it up anyway? Isn't it? Add credit cards on top of this to make an excellent argument for spending unnecessarily. :)

I find our lives going around approximately in this cycle, with only slight variations.

While its perfectly ok for human beings to wander and lose track of what they want, I feel petrified by the thought of a huge industry, backed by our governments and people including us, who feed and survive on our inability to find what we want and stick to it. That means not only is our hunt for our satisfaction incredibly tough, we are also fighting a system that involves almost the entire humanity, that can keep evolving to make you stick to your negatives. Make the ads more colorful, mix those sensitive content, talk about stuff that makes you keep turning your hear, every single time. So each time I am fighting my laziness or craving for junk food, I am actually fighting millions of intelligent salesmen, scientists, business tycoons, corporate executives, engineers, and so on who have engineered perfect products that human beings, owing partially to genetic makeup, and partially to effective cultural and economic constraints , can never stop paying for it.

While all that sounds scary, none of these mean that you have to get pissed at things and walk away. Its more about realizing how macro economies rely intensely on our bad habits of laziness, procrastination and unhealthy choices of spending and consumption. Knowing that you are being taken for a ride with flashy advertisements, one should be keen to avoid stepping into this vicious circle when a choice falls through. Taking informed decisions is always better than ignoring the risks and stepping in, and lamenting later.  And in return for not stepping into this vicious circle of dissatisfaction, what you gain is more confident and resilient perspective of you own needs.

If you feel your life sucks, stop yourself the next time you are tempted to buy something you don't really need. You are just feeding your dissatisfied soul with foul fuel to just keep it burning. If it helps, take a break. Don't buy stuff. Create new things. Write about something, talk to people, take time to create new ideas, help people with things you are good with. These are real concrete things that help you solve problems with lack of time, not knowing what you want, being under pressure etc etc. Buying is just buying more trouble if not done with the right intent :)