Ulterior Instincts

I am a very mean fellow.. sometimes. No, almost always. Yes, that is the truth.

However good I might be in X number of things, the fact remains that from within I am quite mean and ruthless. And the worst part is that I feel like I enjoy being so.

Often I find that my mood swings when I am unable to get to something I want to, or someone makes me feel bad about myself. Once that is done, I have often felt the anger and the negative intent corrupt all my positive side's efforts. And my conscience watches in silence. This might be due to the apparent difference in strength between my dark and shining sides.

This being a part of my nature from long back, and having been at the receiving end of lots of advisory sessions and bad experiences, I have been exercising severe caution in handling these instincts. But sometimes I feel my level of dedication is too low to make any difference.

But over the past three years, I had been strictly controlling such tendencies and almost felt like I had turned over a new leaf. But few 'leakages' here and there recently puts the things back in their original place. A deep cause analysis has shown increased stress levels as the culprit. So I had been actively defusing all unnecessary stress over various fields. I guess that sink needs to grow to suit my growing appetite for risks and associated stress.

Anyway I have decided to exorcise some of my own demons, and make myself a better person. As some great person once said. Know thyself first, then thou shall know everything.

Shower of Memories

For the last one week, I had been planning to start working out and as a part of it, go out for a morning walk.

Yesterday I was determined to do that, but fell asleep. So, I had kept all hopes for today, and wake up I did, just to find that God had other plans for me. It was raining already..

And what rain it is. Beautiful, subtle and enchanting. Unlike the rains we have in Kochi, which can be quite heavy, this is a subtle downpour ; more than a drizzle, but so lacking in the intent. The experience of just standing in the balcony watching the coconut palms sway lightly and the rain drops splatter against the walkways and roads, while the cold wind gives you goosebumps was invigorating to the soul and body alike.

I felt so refreshed and realized there is no better thing in life than people you care for being with you in such a nice climate. Mysore has given many such moments owing to its specialty as a beautiful place to settle.

But nostalgia always finds its way into all your emotions when rains are involved. So, I was reminiscing the experience of sitting in the sit-out of my house, watching the early morning showers, sipping the hot tea that my mother used to prepare.

Rains always provoke lovely feelings of calm, providing sense of purpose and energy to me. I have tried rain music and rain dance also to figure out the science behind it. It somehow eludes words even now.

So saluting those fun, inspiring, lovely and sometimes crazy things I have done on rainy days..

Chamundi Night Ride

A ride up the Chamundi hills on my new bike: I had wanted to do this after getting the bike. Today I had the chance.

It was freaking awesome. And to add to the pleasure, the weather was very good when we(myself and Bharath) started the climb.

As I couldn't cross the 40kmph limit, I had a hard time initially trying to stop myself from accelerating through the zig zag mountain road. But soon the awesome view on the sides made me enjoy my slow ride, with the helmet removed.

On one side was the unlit green patches and dirt roads, and when the road curved the hills, the other side revealed the glittering Mysore city. I wanted to stop by all the view points, but didn't. Anyway we stopped at the usual main view point which opens up an AWESOME view to the city.

A gang of college students were seated there. One of them had a guitar and was singing songs. He sang quite a few tracks and all the people seated there applauded him after each song, in spite of the darkness which made it nearly impossible the spot who was singing( but it was no recording for sure :0 ) . We sat there for nearly 20 minutes silently enjoying the atmosphere and deep in own thoughts, which then turned into a discussion about career and life :-O

Then we went up the hills to the temple and waited for 30 mins to get the darshan and came out soon. The return journey too was frigging awesome.

I only felt bad when we reached the foothills as I still wanted to explore many parts of the hill. This was the best trip to the Chamundi hills for me so far. I got to know my bike better and my self as a biker too. And yes, my bike hit 280km in the 12 days.

so.. its vroom vroom wing riding for sometime now..